For real. this time.

Synapses of thoughts hurting me aren’t going to go away if I don’t think about it. I need an expert opinion on this – will suppressing ill-thoughts and feelings make them go away sooner or saying it out and releasing it and feel the sting and numbness helps the healing sooner?

Sometimes I wonder why I put myself through this, of love? or compassion? does being materialistic make a person less vulnerable to hurt of waiting on the other line? so many questions that I have no answers to.

With these and all things that makes no sense as to why I did it in the first place; I still have some which I am thankful for (in no particular order):

To have a New Job in this market that is going dry and bottle-necked.

To have God answering several of my prayers

To brave myself to face my nasty employers who owes me money & TIME, and to hand in my resignation.

To have traveled alone and not be eaten alive by hungry wolfs for the first time.

To have known the awful truth about Apple & family at this time and not later.

To have made peace with someone who resented me for not helping him in covering his own shit, I feel better; even if he didn’t.

To know that everyone is for themselves and I should always count on myself no matter what.

To reserve my heart for myself, because ultimately no one cares about me but me.

That’s it for now. And yeah, I’m moving to Malaca for 2 years.